Holiday Spirit – 20% Off

The holidays are upon us again. You know what that means. Holiday shopping. The time for all good folks to go into debt in a desperate attempt to show others that they care. For me, it’s time for 2-day free shipping and packages galore. Hey, I’m not going out there!  Physically going holiday shopping any time after Thanksgiving is insane. Speaking of which, what happens to people after Thanksgiving?

Back in the day, the craziness didn’t start until Black Friday – at an ordinary time. Now, in recent years, many retailers are opening before daybreak on Black Friday, and more and more stores are opening early Thanksgiving evening and staying open through Black Friday at midnight.  Like I said, insane.  I mean, here people are, spending Thanksgiving Day with their families, expressing gratitude (one hopes) for what they have and then suddenly at 8:00 p.m., they’re overcome with the need to fight a 95 year old woman for the last Minion toy in the clearance bin at their local big-brand department store.

It’s not a lonely occupation either… these early holiday shoppers seek each other out. They run in packs. You’ll overhear them commiserating: “What time are you headed out tonight?”  And they start mapping out their line of attack at the Walmart like they’re planning a special-ops raid. “We’ll hit up the electronics section first – they’re always the first deals to go, then we’ll head over to cash in on the home décor specials before heading to the clothing section to take advantage of this 50% off no holds barred coupon I’ve got burning a hole in my pocket. Remember, stay hydrated and if we get separated, meet me over in customer service!”

Personally, I can’t figure out why anyone would voluntarily go out at raccoon hours into stores infested with people just to save a few bucks. For me, the stress alone would negate any financial gains I might possibly experience.  And really, I question whether they’re even saving a few bucks. Oh sure, that 500-inch t.v. might only cost $100 for the day, and I admit, that’s a great deal and all, but seeing as they only have the one in stock (and oh yeah, the power cord costs $3,500)… but hey, since you’re in the store anyway, how about you buy this 5-inch t.v. for $1,999.99 so you can go home and pat yourself on the back for being such a smart consumer.

Luckily, I haven’t seen or heard of any instances of mobs running over innocent retail workers or fellow shoppers yet this year. Don’t scoff. It happens. Has happened. No doubt will again happen. And while you might think you’d be hard-pressed to come up with something worse than being trampled to death in a holiday shoppers’ feeding frenzy, trust me, “worse” is out there. It’s as if common decency and consideration – not to mention simple kindness, cease to exist. Sadly, it’s rage and selfishness that seem to win the day.

Society is fucked up in so many ways (**gestures vaguely at everything**) but it can really be viewed in all of its glory on Black Friday at a congested mall, overflowing with desperate, tired people, running on espresso and aggression, just waiting to blow up at anyone who dares to cut them off in the checkout line as fights over Minion toys are occurring two aisles over and gunshots can be heard in the parking lot… the tragic final word on who should get that last parking spot.

Holiday spirit indeed.

Another Year of Thanksgiving Shenanigans

It’s that time of year again, folks!  Time for me to share my favorite movie scene, one that embodies the Thanksgiving Day spirit… or at least the spirit that dwells in my house.

So while I wish you all a truly blessed and happy Thanksgiving, without further adieu, may I introduce Ms. Wednesday Addams… at her best. Happy Thanksgiving from me to you — Addams Family style.

And for those keeping track at home, it’s also Wednesday… even more appropriate, wouldn’t you say!? No? Okay, well, I guess I’m the only one who found that amusing. Fine. Be that way.

In a Dark Wood

I wish I were better at decorating… I know there are those who can decorate on a shoestring and it comes out amazing. I’m not one of those people. I often say to myself that if I had enough money – which can seriously increase your ability to fashion a smart, trendy living space, my home would look like it belongs on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens or House Beautiful.  Of course, I’d need a house first. But still. Despite my current lack of skills, I continue to assure myself that the potential for greatness is there, somewhere.

Then, I see things like this. And I just throw up my hands and hang my head, knowing that I will never be on par with the truly gifted home decorators who view such items as “must haves.”

please… click the pic to see the seller’s page 

I mean, maybe it’s just me, but I look at this and rather than a trendy fashionable occasional table and/or casual seating, all I see is a log. A log. A. Log. A piece of tree that would ordinarily go in the fireplace or on a bonfire. A. LOG. Firewood, if you will.

So be honest. I can take it. Is it just me? I will admit that this whole interior decorating thing has me perplexed. But, it’s a log, right? Right!?

To further add to my confusion… this firewood occasional table is almost $200 (shipping not included).  Oh, it’s on sale!  Even better. 44% off to be exact. The usual price is closer to $350.  For. A. Log.

I can envision the elegant party I would have in my newly decorated home… guests milling about in their best ‘black tie’ apparel, sipping on champagne and cosmopolitans, nibbling on caviar, enjoying the glow of the fireplace while listening to the soft, ambient music piped in from above, chatting excitedly about art and philosophy, and as the evening wears on and it gets a tad bit chilly, I ask the gentleman in the top hat and tails to throw another log on the fire, he’s right there, after all, and don’t you know it? There goes my $350 occasional table… up in flames.

Kudos to whoever pitched this product idea to the decision-makers at the webstore… they’re one hell of a sales person. Bigger and more kudos to the designer for having their finger on the pulse of the lumberjack decorating movement going on out here.

As for me? Yeah, I give up. This whole interior design thing is obviously not my forte.  However, I will say just one more thing before I go… it’s a LOG, people!