The Riveting Sound of a Shotgun

Just because you’re for one thing, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be against its opposite. If you love beaches, that doesn’t automatically say that you hate winter wonderlands. If your favorite food is steak, it’s perfectly okay to still opt for a spring mix salad whenever you want. Same for gun control. Wow, that was an unexpected turn wasn’t it? Yeah, I teased you with thoughts of Tahitian paradises and filet mignon only to sucker you into a political rant on guns.  No, not really.  This isn’t that type of post.

To me, being pro-gun control doesn’t mean you have to be anti-gun altogether. I was raised around guns and I get it. Guns have a purpose.

For example – and I just had this discussion with a variety of family members over a recent holiday dinner and we all agreed – you have to be able to defend yourself and protect your home.  This lively dinner discussion quickly jumped to the scenario of a female being home alone in a rural area and the options available for her to protect herself should a burglar break into the house in the middle of the night.

Knives under the pillow were considered and tossed aside. Besides possibly cutting off a finger as you shifted your pillow while slumbering in dreamland, it’s just not practical.  Unless of course you’re a circus performer and your specialty is knife throwing, or, if for one crazy summer you took lessons from Danny Trejo. (Seriously, how cool would that be!?)

A particularly vindictive member of my family, who shall remain nameless, suggested a cast iron skillet which, if you could get close enough, would certainly do the job…and then some. Another idea brought to the table was keeping a pistol in the nightstand — a very effective choice. But way too serious for this wine inspired conversation of ours.

So the option we finally settled on was the shotgun.  Why, you ask?  Well, because by God that unmistakable sound of a pump shotgun being racked will definitely get the attention of any intruder who has had the misfortune to choose your house.  Definitely an “oh shit” moment from the burglar’s perspective.  And it’s amazing just how far that distinctive chick-chock sound of a shotgun can travel.  Even in the dark, that universal sound of “it’s about to hit the fan” is clear and recognizable. I mean, can you imagine being in the process of sneakily ascending a set of darkened stairs only to hear that noise emanate from the invisible landing above?

Another perk (because one of us was apparently less inebriated than the others, practicality somehow snuck its way into the conversation):  although you do have to be able to aim the gun (obviously), a shotgun loaded with buckshot is just a bit more forgiving on aim than other guns.

The only downside we came up with would be having to wipe up the pee off your floor after he’s gone, but hey, totally worth it.

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