Warranty (Or how I foiled the evil-doer)

The cats in my house are treated very well. Always a full food dish. Ample water. Toys abound. They should never complain of being bored with all the games and distractions I’ve spent money on specifically for their enjoyment. Yet this one cat…this one cat…well, let’s just say I’m reminded of Ralph Kramden’s “One of these days, one of these days…POW! Right in the kisser!”

Trust me, this exclamation of promised violence is not unprovoked.  Because for all that I do to keep them occupied, this one cat is hopelessly and helplessly addicted to eating headphones. Every single chance she gets to gnaw away on the expensive cords she takes with unabashed glee. They’re never my headphones mind you (I don’t use them). They’re my daughter’s.  The one person in this house who ensures the safety of all the four-legged creatures within…and this cat chooses to destroy her things. Who ever said cats make sense?

Oh and let me tell you, she knows she’s not supposed to do it, but like most cats, she simply doesn’t care. She lays in wait for the perfect moment to strike and makes the most of it when it comes. Sarah will leave the room for, literally 30 seconds, and when she comes back in, there’s Holly grinding away on the cord of the latest pair of headphones mistakenly left on the coffee table.

I swear it’s like she’s trying to crack walnuts with her teeth she’s so devoted to the task. We try to keep them out of reach but she knows where they’re stored. You’d think that if they’re placed way up in the top drawer of a high dresser they’d be safe right?  Well you’d be wrong.  Holly just scales up the dresser and tries to open the drawer to get at them.

I’m a woman of simple means. I can’t be going around buying a new pair of $15 headphones every two weeks. Sarah is great about putting them up out of harm’s way when she’s done with them, but quick trips to the bathroom are sometimes overlooked. And there’s no hope of rehabilitating my cat to break this destructive habit. I’ve tried. Oh how I’ve tried.

Thankfully, the last time I went to Radio Shack to buy yet another pair of headphones, the girl behind the counter told me that for an extra $3.99 I could get a warranty that includes damage of any kind. Any kind. Even damage caused by an annoying, obnoxious cat falls under the warranty (I asked).  Why oh why didn’t they tell me about this before!?  Damn right I want the warranty! Ring that sucker up! I don’t get the super hoighty-toighty noise cancelling Beats headphones or anything fancy like that but taking into consideration how many pairs of the cheap brands I’ve already had to replace, the $3.99 warranty was a steal.

Would it actually pay off or was this just a clever ploy by Radio Shack to scam a few extra dollars so they can stay in business just a little bit longer? Lo and behold just two days…two days mind you…I was right back at the Radio Shack picking up a new pair of headphones cost-free because the last one’s cord had been neatly sawed in two. So was it worth it? Most definitely.  Oh and the replacement pair I got for free?  Yep. They’re under warranty too. So take that Holly! Your dastardly deeds are foiled!




13 thoughts on “Warranty (Or how I foiled the evil-doer)

  1. Two comments: first, my cat looks almost identical to your “evil-doer.” Second, wireless headphones. Maybe something that connects via Bluetooth, depending upon the source of the music.

    You’re welcome.

    • Doobster, is yours an evil-doer also? We’ve actually considered the wireless but between my daughter’s strict opinions on what’s comfortable and what’s not and the fact that I have another cat (who will be the subject of another entry very soon) who likes to steal shiny things (among other things), it’s sort of a difficult situation. I have yet to find a flash drive she stole from my nightstand. I have to be very, very vigilant with my bluetooth device for my phone. That’s what I get for adopting strays…they’re all thieves.

      • Our cat is also a stray we took in, but he’s not really an evil-doer. Well, let me take that back. He seems to prefer using furniture to scratch poles, so much of our upholstered furniture has been destroyed by his claws. But we’ve found that he doesn’t seem to want to destroy leather or microfiber, so once we discovered that, the worst of his evil-doer days are past.

  2. Don’t bother me, I’ll be selling my Radio Shack stock ASAP this morning.

    On a more pragmatic (if slightly less ASPCA-endorsed) note, have you thought about taking a pair of “modified” headphones and leaving them lying out as bait, but having them plugged into a setup with about 30-40 volts running through them? Not enough juice to harm, mind you, but more than enough to send a message that you’re ready to play the nuclear card.

    • Sorry to mess up your stock portfolio! You know, they make these zapper pads that you can put different places, like the counter, the stove, the couch, wherever, and when the cat (or dog) steps on it, it gives them a jolt. I joke all the time that I need zapper pads all over the house. I guess I could put the earphones right in the middle of one. Knowing my luck, they’d all think it was cool and have dance parties on them.

      All joking aside, I’m surprised my cat hasn’t gotten zapped because she also likes to chew my phone charger cord while it’s plugged in. One time I couldn’t figure out why my phone wasn’t charging, followed the cord, and found the chew marks. I guess she’s blessed. Or else electricity doesn’t bother her. Maybe she has secret super powers and needs to recharge with electricity every once in a while.

  3. I’m late to this conversation, but I too have a black cat who lives to chew on cords, ALL cords! We tried everything and anything to dissuade her destructive behavior, but nothing worked. After having to replace far too many power cords, mice, speaker wire, etc., and on and on, (I’m sure you can relate) we finally found a solution. We have literally wrapped every cord in our house in plastic split loom tubing. Here’s the link to it: http://tiny.cc/no5plx – just in case you’re interested. It doesn’t look pretty, but hey, it kept me from finding a back-alley kitty dentist willing to remove all of her teeth! So… she’s still able to enjoy her dry food and I haven’t had to replace any expensive electronics lately. Although, the earphones I have no solution for except vigilance. I let my guard down just the other day and lost my favorite pair of earbuds. I will have to look at Radio Shack for my replacement! 😉

    • Jeez, yours just likes to chew on everything! Luckily, mine contains herself to the small wires. At least so far. So for instance, she won’t chew on t.v. wires or lamp wires. But she loves earphones, phone chargers and gps chargers. She’s very, very lucky she’s loved. LOL The tubing is a nifty idea!

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