So I posted this pic the other day. It was pretty self-explanatory. But I thought I would expand on it anyway.
One thing I am certain about in life is that you will never—and I mean never—be flipping through TV channels one day and say to whoever else in the room with you, “Hey, isn’t that Wendy on the World Series of Poker?” Nope. Not going to happen. Not because I despise gambling or can’t count cards. Even if I could use some mental wizardry to tip the odds in my favor, I’d never make it that a far in a tournament because my poker face is HORRIBLE.
It’s taken years and years of careful thought and dedication but I’ve gotten somewhat passable at biting my tongue even when internally I’m screaming to stand on my soap box and say something that may ruffle feathers. Sometimes it’s not a soap box I want to stand on. Sometimes I just want to say something as simple as, “what the hell!?” Or “are you that stupid!?” I have to say, it’s not always easy to hold my tongue, and I’m not even always successful, but I do try.
My face? Well, that, I’m discovering, is even worse to control. I’ve graduated beyond the simple act of rolling my eyes when I hear something I don’t like. That’s elementary level and I think I have a little more class than that. Whatever contortions my face does make (be it lip pursing, brow furrowing, teeth clenching, cheek puckering, nostril flaring, or any combination of these) it’s enough of a cue that something isn’t quite right and I’ve actually had people stop talking, in mid-sentence, and say, “Okay, whaat!?” They can obviously see that whatever is coming out of their mouth is troubling me, hence their frustrated question. Which I find quite ironic because it’s just that ridiculous thing coming out of their mouth that makes me want to ask them, “WTF are you trying to say!!??”
Turns out I don’t have to say that anymore. You’ve heard of the RBF (aka Resting Bitch Face). I have what I have now dubbed the WTF Face. It’s been forged from years of sitting through endless, boring meetings at an old job where snappy Construction Managers, who happened to be cutting their teeth on the present job in question, would be spewing verbal diarrhea all over the place on some project they really knew nothing about, and the countless number of boring lectures I’ve had to sit through in past job positions. I remember it being very difficult not to say something that might be taken as rude (but in truth was just saying what was on everyone else’s mind). So instead of saying something, my face did all the speaking for me.
The workplace isn’t the only place I have been caught working on my wicked WTF Face. Driving hasn’t helped nor has just following people down the aisle in the supermarket. I know I must be making some pretty vehement faces there. If anyone reading this has been to the grocery store lately you know what I mean. It can’t just be me.
I guess I don’t have to worry about my uber-honest facial expressions that much. They only come up when I’m on the road, running errands, interacting with people, you know, pretty much in general. Besides those times I’m a total model of tranquility. Just ask my pets.