Existential Moments in the Pasta Aisle

Going through the stores today on a much-hated “errands run,” I was finally forced to face my darker side. As it turns out, I hate people. Okay, well, yeah,  perhaps that was no big secret. Hey! Don’t roll your eyes at me!

However, at one point in my journey, one question loomed first and foremost in my mind…an existential moment if you will. Right in the middle of the pasta aisle of all places. I mean, if you’re going to have a moment, there could be worse places. As for the answers I was seeking, none were forthcoming. But apparently, now, don’t be shocked, but apparently…I failed this particular test. So I thought I would throw it out here, to all of you — perhaps you can help me out. You know, in case this same issue ever raises its ugly head in the future (cause, let’s face it, we all know it will).

Just how many times do I have to say excuse me to someone before get the fu…hell out of the way becomes acceptable?



18 thoughts on “Existential Moments in the Pasta Aisle

  1. oh wow – reading the pasta moment reminded me of twice this week when I remembered not to go to a certain store ever again on Saturday (it is triply crowded) and then I was able to grab a class with a really good yoga teacher (so it was packed) and when I turned around from a shelf with my blocks – a lady scowled at me and I said excuse me so nicely – but then walking to my mat I realized that she came up on me when I was at the shelf – the excuse me should have been hers – but it was her stance too. anyhow, we ended up talking later – in the sauna – and she was so sweet – and so I assume she was just crabby starting class (and we have all had those days – eh)
    anyhow, your post reminded me of that –
    and not sure what was going on in the store or during your errands – but there are times when people do not move and they seem t forget to be mindful of those around them

  2. You didn’t say but from context (you were on an errand run) I gather that you didn’t have a shopping cart. Might have had one of those plastic tote bins that you grab by the front door but they’re always coated with sticky, dried goo from other people’s dripping groceries…

    Anyway, this is why you should ALWAYS get a cart. It’s not just the goo (the carts are covered with those too) but the fact that if they don’t hear the first “Excuse me?” when you want to get by, you can bump them “gently” in the Achilles with the front edge of that underneath rack on the cart on the second “Excuse me?!” to make sure you have their attention.

    The cart also works very well to keep between them and your throat if you bump them less-than-gently. Of course, if you’re going to do that, make sure you do it hard enough to take out the Achilles. It will give you a great advantage in getting out of the store with a good head start. It’s that gray area in between “gently” and “crippling” that’s trouble.

  3. I would hope, Once. Twice at the outside, would be fine. But what really gets me is when someone has their cart, or worse yet, one of those sit-down “mart-carts” right smack-dab in the middle of any aisle and ya can’t go around them and they take their pathetically slow time, as they inspect each item–or–try to make up their mind if they really want it or not– or act completely oblivious to the entire world like they’re the only one in the store.

  4. Hey, “It’s their store too”. “They have rights and liberties you know. You just have to learn to be more tolerant”.
    Of course, are such favors ever returned to you? Judging by how such folks get impatient with us if they have to wait even 30 seconds for us to put our change away and our wallets back in our pocket post-transaction when they’re the ones behind us in line, I’d probably guess “Absolutely not!”

  5. I thought of you today when I was grocery shopping. A woman cut me off and then went so slow I wanted to run her over. LOLOL She could have gone behind me, but she purposely turned right in FRONT of me and then barely moved. ARGGG. Like driving.

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