Grammar Police:  Heroes or Villains?

They are all over the social media sites.  They are hated and feared, but we all have to giggle at them.  Maybe you know one.  Maybe you are one.

The Grammar Police.

This is a very unique group of people who can take anyone’s heartfelt sentiment and reduce it to rubble with their inability to resist correcting misspellings and grammar.

Here’s an example of how the Grammar Police can ruin nearly anything they read:

Poster: I am thrilled to announce the birth of my sweet baby boy, Paul.  After years of trying and much heartbreak, we have a little miracle of our own.  I finally feel at peace with the tragedy that has struck so often in the past when I look at his perfect little face.  We weren’t sure he would make it through the delivery, and it was touch and go for me for a while, too.  An emergency C-Section saved both of our lives, but the surgeon accidentally dropped his watch into the incision and had to go back in to get it. The hospital lost electricity and the surgery was done without anesthesia by candlelight. We are so pleased that Paul is not only cute, but healthy, to.

Grammar Police: *too

Poster:  Really?  Your heartless.

Grammar Police: *you’re

I am anti-Grammar Police, personally.  The poster has clearly gotten their point across and has anxiously hit the “post” button, awaiting the outpouring of support or debate the update will bring.  Instead, an entire segment of the social media population fixates on one thing: the unfortunate use of “there” instead of “their.”  Or “to” instead of “too.”

I admit, any error in grammar or spelling jumps out of the impassioned sentences and slaps my brain like the thought of Elmer Fudd in the shower; impossible to ignore no matter how hard I try.  I am stronger than my urges, however, and will overlook the errors in the spirit of solidarity with the poster.  Inside, however, I am correcting with the best of them … I just choose to keep this obnoxious behavior to myself instead of posting it out there in public for all to see.

What I can’t ignore are people who abbreviate words in their postings for no reason whatsoever.  I’m sure you’ve seen these, too:

Poster:  U no I like u, rite?  Wut u doin’ l8ter?

Me:  What the hell are you saying? I know you’re trying to communicate … but come on! Work with me here!

I wonder what these people do with all the extra time they have saved by not typing out complete words.  My eyes wander across these posts, filling in the blanks, but the time they saved posting is time I waste translating.  I could have used those precious seconds to do so much with my day.

I think my favorite are the pseudo-intellectuals who attempt to drop big words into their posts, and use them incorrectly or spell them horribly.

Poster:  I just finished a grate autobiography today.  I understand Lincoln’s Emaciation Declaration much more, now.  People are so dumb; everyone should edukate themselves like I do.

Grammar Police:  Where do I start …

My own personal fear is auto-correct when I use voice-activated typing or texting.  If I don’t proofread my post before sending, I end up with something that reads:

Me: I read the cantaloupe yesterday.  I don’t knife why pickles hate digging that; I looped it.

Grammar Police:  I think I just had a stroke.

Grammar Police are either the unsung heroes of the internet, correcting their little world one word at a time, or they are the villains, wrecking dreams and sentiment with just a few keystrokes.  There is no in between; Grammar Police are all or nothing when it comes to their obsession.

If you are a member of the Grammar Police Force, knock it off.  We ALL see the errors, but we just don’t care; we read through the mistakes to the underlying message.  If you have been a victim of an overzealous Grammar Cop, keep on posting and know you are not alone.

As for the visual of Elmer Fudd in the shower?  You’re welcome.

14 thoughts on “Grammar Police:  Heroes or Villains?

  1. Here is the deal with some of these English Lit majors, (I was one, until I switched to psychology, because psychology was much harder and more interesting), the lit majors lack essential creativity. They mastered grammar, but should have, in my opinion, gone on to a long career of murdering the irrational English language, making up words, syntax, punctuation and spelling, just like the people who created the language in the first place did. One of my greatest joys is screwing around with the english language, because it is so utterly screwable.

  2. Thank you so much! As someone who suffers from Dyslexia, I very much dislike how an important post becomes about Grammar…Rather than the meaning of the post. I am not a Grammar police, but I’ve been friends with them…They are not fun at parties!
    I’m like you, I can’t stand though the “l8tr” type abbreviation…I suffer from Dyslexia, that’s too confusing!lol

    • Exactly! A heartfelt plea or comment suddenly becomes a graded essay and it’s ridiculous. I just don’t understand why people feel the need to do it, except to appear superior. As for the abbreviations, it doesn’t make sense to me because there’s no way that can save the writer time … so why?? LOL

  3. It’s up to somebody’s teacher, parent or editor to fix their grammar, Wendy. As for those who think the need for whole words are has past, well, I say 🤬 to that! It started with texting, I guess, and spread too far. Yes, I text with full words, thank you.

  4. Depends on the content of the post whether I correct or not. Sweet, heartfelt ones I leave alone. Mean ones I excoriate.
    But when in a hurry i also eliminate capitals.

    • That’s a good point. If someone’s being a jerk (I used a relatively nice term instead of my usual expletive laced one!) then all bets are off and they deserve to have their grammar and anything else corrected in order to call them out for the jerks they are.

  5. Grammar Police: I think I just had a stroke

    This just cracked me up! Oh boy have I had autocorrect screw with my life a few times…. even after I thought I had corrected everything 😂

    Oh, and the “pretentious” so and so, who can’t write… oh yeah, I’ve had my share of biting my tongue…. 🤨

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