Life is Messy

Keats said: “Life is divine Chaos. It’s messy, and it’s supposed to be that way.” And I get it. Yes. Life is messy. I’m not quite sure on the whole “divine” aspect, but in general, I’m on board with the whole chaos theory per Mr. Keats.

Here lately, chaos has defined my world … some bad, some good. It seems that along with being messy, Life has a sense of humor, and a twisted one at that. It sometimes gives you what you want, while also throwing obstacles — or downright tragedies, in your wake. Trials, tribulations, misfortune. Why can’t we just be allowed to enjoy the “good” without having the “bad” trail so closely behind?

After too many years of an unhappy — even, shall we say, hurtful, marriage, I began anew. It has taken adjustments, but it was necessary, and there is now a peace in my home that reigns supreme. Chalk that up to the “good” side. My kids are doing well on their respective paths to their future. Add a notch to the good column. I start a new job in a week. It’s been a long time coming, and I’m excited about this new route my own path is taking. Another mark to the good.

And then. Life, in all of its infinite wisdom said: “You know what? Things are just going a little to well for you and your family. I’m going to throw a kink into things. The mother of all kinks, in fact. Because, fuck you.”

Yeah. Life is messy all right.

My Dad, who this time last year was fine, now has Stage IV lung cancer. We know he was fine last year because for a few, non-cancer related reasons, he has scans done every year. That’s Life right there, flipping the middle finger. He’s a tough old cuss and if anyone can beat this thing, he can. But damn it, Life, get your shit together why don’t you?

 

5 thoughts on “Life is Messy

  1. “Like” is the wrong button, but the only choice offered. It’s wonderful to hear that your kids are doing well and your new job opportunity is exciting and well deserved. I don’t know why the gods can’t just leave it at that – but they don’t. The news about your dad is terrifying and grim, but I have faith in his cussedness (and the doctors and their potions and notions) because he helped shape you, so he may well have what it takes to whip cancer’s ass.

    Fuck cancer!!

  2. You said that perfectly and Mr. Keats had time to write because he had a woman taking care of his chaos. Blah. And I agree, we are never allowed to enjoy life for more than a few minutes before the sky falls on us. And, we remember the sky falling because it kind of BLOCKS out the moments of joy. The scale tips toward the horrors because the joy is lighter. I’m sorry about your dad. Fingers crossed. Sending hugs your way.

  3. Sorry for the particularly ugly turn of events just when you wanted to be celebrating a new job. You are right that life seems a perpetual swing from good to bad, and the bad never comes at a suitable time.

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