Morning Routines

As I shimmy and shake and sweat during my usual morning routine, I wonder, who needs the gym or the cost of a personal trainer when all I have to do to get a serious aerobic work-out is put on my pantyhose every morning?  Come to think of it, there are some complicated yoga moves thrown in to my dressing ritual fitness regimen as well — I routinely contort myself into impossible positions worthy of a yogi master.

Aerobics, strength exercises, and yoga … hey, I’m nothing if not well-rounded. Ha! See what I did there? Well-rounded! Get it? Because being well-rounded is what necessitates my way-too-early-in-the-morning calisthenics session to begin with … because, I’m round, get it?  Oh, never mind.


8 thoughts on “Morning Routines

  1. I gave up panty hose a generation ago. Donned them once last month for a very special occasion and knew instantly how right I have been to maintain that abstinence.

  2. If you stuck with always wearing dress pants on the job you’d never need to mess around with pantyhose
    …just stick with normal socks. Although one still has to keep their toenails trimmed to avoid premature wear-and-tear on their stockings, even with regular socks.

  3. I don’t see what all the fuss is with putting on pantyhose – they just slip on over my head with no problem. And I only have to wear them when I’m going to the bank or a 7-11 near a freeway onramp…

Comments are closed.