In a Dark Wood

I wish I were better at decorating… I know there are those who can decorate on a shoestring and it comes out amazing. I’m not one of those people. I often say to myself that if I had enough money – which can seriously increase your ability to fashion a smart, trendy living space, my home would look like it belongs on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens or House Beautiful.  Of course, I’d need a house first. But still. Despite my current lack of skills, I continue to assure myself that the potential for greatness is there, somewhere.

Then, I see things like this. And I just throw up my hands and hang my head, knowing that I will never be on par with the truly gifted home decorators who view such items as “must haves.”

please… click the pic to see the seller’s page 

I mean, maybe it’s just me, but I look at this and rather than a trendy fashionable occasional table and/or casual seating, all I see is a log. A log. A. Log. A piece of tree that would ordinarily go in the fireplace or on a bonfire. A. LOG. Firewood, if you will.

So be honest. I can take it. Is it just me? I will admit that this whole interior decorating thing has me perplexed. But, it’s a log, right? Right!?

To further add to my confusion… this firewood occasional table is almost $200 (shipping not included).  Oh, it’s on sale!  Even better. 44% off to be exact. The usual price is closer to $350.  For. A. Log.

I can envision the elegant party I would have in my newly decorated home… guests milling about in their best ‘black tie’ apparel, sipping on champagne and cosmopolitans, nibbling on caviar, enjoying the glow of the fireplace while listening to the soft, ambient music piped in from above, chatting excitedly about art and philosophy, and as the evening wears on and it gets a tad bit chilly, I ask the gentleman in the top hat and tails to throw another log on the fire, he’s right there, after all, and don’t you know it? There goes my $350 occasional table… up in flames.

Kudos to whoever pitched this product idea to the decision-makers at the webstore… they’re one hell of a sales person. Bigger and more kudos to the designer for having their finger on the pulse of the lumberjack decorating movement going on out here.

As for me? Yeah, I give up. This whole interior design thing is obviously not my forte.  However, I will say just one more thing before I go… it’s a LOG, people!


5 thoughts on “In a Dark Wood

  1. Okay, so to add … the “table” I wrote about above is “finished” in that it has layers upon layers of fancy shellac to seal it. I can kinda sorta see the appeal.  At least some work by the designer went into that piece. However, below is yet another table from the same collection that is literally just a log (please, I urge you to take a look for yourself). It is completely unfinished and ready for your personal touch with whatever stain and/or lacquer you may opt to use. A $280 piece of firewood (on sale for $140!).  I’m still in awe that this is apparently a thing.

  2. The emperor has no clothes…and the “Cowboy Stump” table/seat/thing has no bark. They’re removed it, but left the “inner, cambium layer,” which must be some sort of planty-like innard thingie. If you want THAT removed, get the second one listed and bust out that rotary sander!

    Saw dust, here we come! (We’ll leave it on the floor to add to the cheap saloon atmosphere in our house with these things sitting around for stools and tables.)

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