I’m not sure if I mentioned this before or not but living directly next door to me is a cute little old lady, nice as can be and maybe 500 years old. I’m kidding, of course. I have no idea how old she is, she might only be 250 years old for all I know. I’m bad at guessing these things. I’d be a horrible carnival guess-your-age-and-weight barker. You’re 72 and 300 pounds! Oh? Really? 25 and 120? My bad.
But I do know that my lovely neighbor is elderly enough and frail enough that when I don’t see her for a few days, I’m concerned for her wellbeing.
Yesterday evening I saw her meandering up the sidewalk with her cane from wayyyy on the other side of the parking lot where she had parked her car. We spoke and I asked why she parked so far away when there was a spot(s) right up front, where, ahem, my own car was parked.
Apparently, she likes to park as far away from our building as she can… she does this everywhere she goes as a means of walking and getting exercise and generally staying healthy. Evidently, she even exercises at home (which explains the catchy old school aerobics music wafting through the building’s foyer).
Meanwhile, my lazy fat ass parks as close as humanly possible to every building I visit to save myself the effort of walking even the smallest distance, or, you know, expending any energy whatsoever.
I think maybe the wrong person is keeping an eye out for the wrong person in this scenario.