Impossibly Cheerful Motivational Speaker at Work Event: *exhausting rehearsed speech that includes convoluted – and obviously soul-sucking – instructions on a team-building role-play exercise and ending with an overly enthusiastic – if not overused – inspirational quote*

Me: Okay… wait a minute, wait a minute, let me get this straight. So you’re telling me that if I don’t go big, I may get to go home?

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