Glazed and Confused

Eat better, the doctors say. Strive for a healthier lifestyle, the self-improvement articles say. Add more fruit and veggies to lower your cholesterol and extend your life – such as it is. Yeah, right. You can’t trust fruits and vegetables, if you ask me. Take apples, for example. They may look crisp and juicy, but when you take a big bite, they can be all squashy – kind of like a soggy old sock… and then you see the half a worm and can’t help but obsess over where the other half is headed. Blech. And avocados? Don’t even get me started. You leave those bad boys out on the counter for ten seconds and suddenly they’re all brown and slimy, like they’ve been sitting in a swamp for a week. And bananas, oh bananas. They can look so good on the outside, but inside, they’re sometimes mushier than a pile of wet noodles. Yuck. You know what never lets me down? Donuts.

Every time I sink my teeth into one of those sweet, doughy rings, it’s like a choir of angels starts singing. I’m not a religious person, but that should mean something, right?

Meanwhile, the apples are turning brown, the avocados are going bad faster than my ex’s personality, and the bananas I just bought a day ago are too far gone to even make banana bread. But you know who’s always there for me? My trusty donuts. So bring on the sugar rush, baby, because I’m sticking with my fried friends ’til the end.



5 thoughts on “Glazed and Confused

  1. What’s bad for our health, usually, look, way more attractive than what is beneficial, and, we get, deadlocked between: do we, please our, tastebuds, or, do we do what’s, beneficial for our, systems. We all know what we SHOULD, choose, it’s just, that, that’s not, appealing, enough…

  2. I’m at an age where I really am trying to be more careful about what I eat (and how much of it) since my primary care physician is likely an ex-Marine drill instructor and goes a bit nuts when my A1C numbers are up. So it was with horror that I found out, upon buying a fresh apple fritter from this great little bakery that just opened up, that my body no longer tolerates apple fritters. Or, more specifically, all of that sugar and starch and carbs and fat. My brain wanted it sooooooooooooo bad and I guess for a few minutes it tasted soooooooooo good. Then I found that my stomach and lower GI had veto power over everything.

    Stupid body. Stupid healthy eating. Stupid doctor. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

    Enjoy your doughnuts while you can. Have one for me. Maybe two. Maybe let me lick your fingers afterward.

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