Delusions of Grandeur

When I have what I think is an awesome idea or an incredibly hilarious story that I would like to share or a dream that could win me the next Pulitzer (or more likely, a horror fiction award), I’ll write myself a note or I’ll text myself a brief reminder of my brilliance. My memory being what it is and all.

Well, I found a text to myself today that said, simply, Delusions of Grandeur. Capitalized just like that. Now, there was a surprise. Because I didn’t remember texting myself. That in itself is not all that surprising – or uncommon. My ability to retain my own thoughts, as I may have already mentioned, is not all that and a bag of chips… hence the notes in the first place.

But – Delusions of Grandeur? Delusions of Grandeur?  Delusions. Of. Grandeur. What the hell did I mean by Delusions of Grandeur? What was I trying to tell myself? Did I witness it? Did I dream of a King in a far-off land with ostentatious taste? Do I suffer from it?  Was it the basis of the convoluted plot for a best seller?

Don’t ask me. I haven’t a clue.

Grammar Rocks

Why can’t I say conjunction junction like a normal person?  It’s impossible for me to say these two simple words. I sing them. Every. Time. Even if I’m just thinking them… the words are thought in song.

No, I don’t know why this has come up now… it just has. It’s one of those days.

And if I’m being honest, I can never simply say sing conjunction junction. It’s the whole phrase or nothing at all.

Conjunction Junction, what’s your function?

There! You sang that, didn’t you!? You did. You know you did. You can’t fool me.

What is wrong with us?

 

 

My Day in a GIF

Did you ever have one of those days where everything at work is going just great and then, at the very tail-end of your day, when you think you’re safe, it just goes to hell?

Things are moving steadily along all morning and then you hit that personal high round about late afternoon when you realize hey, I’m getting everything on my to do list done! I am on a roll! This is an awesome way to start the week!

And then, just when it’s about time to go home, the office gremlin (à la Twilight Zone) says: No! We will create an unsolvable problem for you to solve that must be solved before you leave!

Well, I mean, it is Monday…

my day in a GIF

A New Monday Beckons

We’re on the cusp of yet another work week and as Sunday evening gently turns into Monday morning, we must ask ourselves this burning question: what the hell happened to the weekend!? I mean, honestly, it was Friday like five minutes ago. This is such bullshit.

On another note, it’s always interesting to go into work the Monday after New Year’s. Everyone is full of cheer and high hopes as they ride the waves of their newly minted resolutions. And if you don’t notice them full of cheer and high hopes as they ride the waves of their newly minted resolutions, they will surely tell you all about it over the course of the day. If, in their excitement of “a New Year, a New Me,” they forget who they’ve talked to already, you might just get to enjoy a second rendition.

As for me, I don’t expect my New Year’s resolution to last for long… in fact, I’m guessing it’ll be out the window by lunch time.