Why yes, yes I am eating Twinkies ice-cream. Don’t roll your eyes at me. It’s not nearly as awful as you might think — it actually does taste like Twinkies. Which is good…if you like Twinkies.
Annnd in another few minutes, it’ll be Wednesday. Not as good as Friday, but definitely better than Monday.
It’s my favorite time of year…okay, one of my favorite times of year. Right up there with Halloween, Christmas, and the two-days after Valentine’s Day 75% off all candy sale day. What is the highly celebrated season do you ask? Is it my birthday? No. Is it the start of pumpkin spice everything season? No, not quite. Okay, I’ll tell you — it’s time for our county fair. Now, I know, I know, a bit of a let down you might say, but hold on. There are a lot of reasons to like the county fair, even one as small as ours. There are animals. There is cotton candy. There are rides. There is funnel cake. There are games. There’s cotton candy. There is great music usually. There’s funnel cake.
One of the main reasons I make an appearance at our county fair is because our local Girl Scouts extraordinaire have a booth with all sorts of wildly delicious confections available for a nominal fee. You see, I always forget when the ever elusive Girl Scout cookie time is and therefore I often miss the tables at the local grocery store. So the county fair is my chance to catch up on all the calories I missed out on earlier in the year.
However, perhaps the powers that be in the cookie kingdom should rethink my favorite cookie’s name. Re-brand it with something more accurate maybe. Somehow, I feel a little let down.
Why isn’t Nabisco making this? Seriously. Just why? I need this in my life. I can’t be the only one.
If you sneak and eat a cupcake in the kitchen with the lights out and no-one sees you, do the calories count? Just asking for a friend.
Running some errands this evening, and came across this food truck. Well, it’s not really a food truck, because it’s pretty much a permanent, or at least, semi-permanent structure, but it appears to be based on the same “quick, cheap, but better than fast-food” premise. Among other things, this parking lot establishment specializes in polish sausages, shell pizza, and sweet treats of the carnival variety. I’ll be honest, it was the abundance of fried confections that caught my attention. I mean, come on! Deep fried Twinkies and Oreos!? Deep fried peanut butter and jelly!? Be still my heart.
My first thought was damn, I bet those are scrumptiously delicious…admittedly with a tad bit more excitement than is probably normal for someone over the age of 5.
My second thought was “what the hell is wrong with us?” The “us” of course being people, the community, our society, and country as a whole. Seriously, what is wrong with us? Is it possible that it’s just because everything is better when it’s deep fried? I’ve seen deep fried cheesecake on a menu. Deep. Fried. Cheesecake. So yeah, I wouldn’t argue the idea that deep-frying has the potential to make most foods even more mouth-watering. But really? Is this what we’ve come to?
I don’t know whether to embrace our descent into decadence or hang my head in shame. I suppose whichever stance doesn’t get peanut butter and jelly in my hair.
As most of you know, I live in a very small, rural town, and it’s not as though people expect to go through our historic streets with the one traffic light and come across an Irish pub, let alone an authentic one. Believe it or not, though, we do have one…well, technically speaking anyway. In reality, what we have is a posh bar, with a fancy sign. You’d think the owners would at least try to make it a legitimate Irish pub, but there, you would be wrong. Oh sure, the menu is covered in clovers and Celtic knots and has elaborate dishes with the words ‘Irish’ and ‘Dublin’ liberally strewn about, but that doesn’t make it a decent Irish pub. Although I have yet to make my heart’s desire journey to Ireland, one thing I do know is pub food. As a matter of fact, there is a quintessential Irish pub about an hour away, so I do have that oasis…but still, it’s quite the hike for fish and chips, no matter how good it may be. And trust me, it’s amazing.
So when this new joint first opened, I had high hopes of ditching the long commute in my quest for bangers and mash, and the aforementioned fish and chips. But alas, those hopes were dashed like a bottle of Guinness caught in a wave against the Cliffs of Moher. My main gripe with this place is its hours and upscale, hipster vibe. It gives every impression of being an upper crust establishment, with upper crust prices for extravagant dishes you’d never see in Ireland, let alone any self-respecting pub. Calling a brie-cheeseburger covered in crab imperial (a Maryland specialty by the way) a Dublin Burger does not a Dublin Burger make. I won’t even get into the portions that look like they’re meant for an elf, and a smallish elf at that. As for the hours – now I know my town rolls up its streets at dusk, but still…no self-respecting Irish pub closes before 10 PM on any given day. I mean hell, that’s when all the best drinking starts. I can’t be the only one who thinks that, right? Right!?
But their ploy is working, this bar was actually voted ‘Best Irish Pub’ in the area. Although given what else is in the area with regards to food and entertainment, maybe that’s not so hard to believe after all.
It’s amazing how much faster things cook if you actually set them on the right burner.