diet

by

A Toast to Toasts

I love to be validated. I mean, who doesn’t, right?

Things I would love to find out I am right about include:  tofu not only tastes bad, but it is bad for you, being a couch potato adds ten years to your life, and drinking regularly is good for you.  While the jury is still out on tofu, a study published here gives me reason to dream again.

Yes folks, it is true.  Drinking two drinks per day will allow you to live to 90+ years.  Read that again, my friends.  Drinking two drinks per day is “more likely to extend life past 90 than exercise.” All this time, I’ve been doing it right.  Take THAT, health fanatics!  While you’ve all been out doing healthy things like “walking,” “working out,” and “getting up from the couch on occasion,” I’ve been sipping wine, with the remote by my side, on the sofa and adding years – years, people! – to my life.

I wonder how many other things we will find out are good or bad for us that we never imagined.  My dream list would include:

Housecleaning is dangerous for your health:  Think about it.  You are inhaling dust, subjecting your body to strange chemicals, and moving.  The moving alone, per the study above, is obviously not that good for you after all.  And talk about physical harm?  I have tripped over the vacuum cleaner cord many times in my quest for a clean house; dear God, I could have died!

Fast food is good for you:  GMO vegetables and fruit…why bother?  With a good old fashioned #3 from your favorite fast food menu, you know exactly what you are getting.  Well, sort of.  It may or may not be meat that may or may not have been from a farm animal, but you get the gist. I’m not even sure about those fries. Don’t be lazy, though; get out of the car and walk up to the counter to add some moderate exercise to your fast food routine (I’m told this also helps in getting one’s order correct).

Laundry is a bad idea:  From water waste to chemicals, laundry surely is bad for both you and the environment.  Disposable clothes made from biodegradable material is the answer here.  No need to fold, put away, hand wash, put away, separate, put away, or put away your laundry ever again.  Also, you never need to put away your laundry ever again. Just so you know, I keep track of this stuff, so no-one better steal my ideas.

Paying bills is bad for you:  This, of course, is a big one. The anguish of money pouring out of your account.  The possibility of stolen identity with each online bill paid.  Surely, paying bills has to be a danger to your mental health.  Let’s band together and just stop paying those pesky things; our lives will be longer, happier and stress free.  Hey, who turned out the lights!?

Chocolate is an undiscovered food group on that omnipresent pyramid:  I think the Aztecs and Mayans had this one right. One day, scientists will figure out that chocolate is its own food group.  They will study it and assign it a place on the food pyramid.  Health coaches and nutritionists will recommend five to six servings a day.  It will also be discovered that chocolate has the side effect of weight loss.

Rest assured, I will be scouring the news in search of more vindication of my border-line slovenly lifestyle.  Until I find more proof that my way of life is healthy, I will be knocking back a few glasses of Pinot Gris Health Juice and watching reruns on the couch.

Cheers!

by

Our Deep Fried Life

Running some errands this evening, and came across this food truck. Well, it’s not really a food truck, because it’s pretty much a permanent, or at least, semi-permanent structure, but it appears to be based on the same “quick, cheap, but better than fast-food” premise.  Among other things, this parking lot establishment specializes in polish sausages, shell pizza, and sweet treats of the carnival variety. I’ll be honest, it was the abundance of fried confections that caught my attention. I mean, come on!  Deep fried Twinkies and Oreos!?  Deep fried peanut butter and jelly!?  Be still my heart.

My first thought was damn, I bet those are scrumptiously delicious…admittedly with a tad bit more excitement than is probably normal for someone over the age of 5.

My second thought was “what the hell is wrong with us?”  The “us” of course being people, the community, our society, and country as a whole. Seriously, what is wrong with us? Is it possible that it’s just because everything is better when it’s deep fried? I’ve seen deep fried cheesecake on a menu. Deep. Fried. Cheesecake. So yeah, I wouldn’t argue the idea that deep-frying has the potential to make most foods even more mouth-watering. But really? Is this what we’ve come to?

I don’t know whether to embrace our descent into decadence or hang my head in shame. I suppose whichever stance doesn’t get peanut butter and jelly in my hair.

by

Have We Come a Long Way, Baby?

Many Western women today don’t realize how easy they’ve got it. Think about it. Up until the 1960s, women were expected to get married, have children, and cater to their husbands, and that was pretty much it. That was their lot in life. Some may have worked “suitable” jobs, but once they got married of course they would quit and devote their lives to their family…which wouldn’t be a bad deal if it was a choice instead of a forced expectation. Women were looked down upon if they wore certain clothes, if they smoked, or if they swore. They were forcibly held back when they tried to achieve more with their lives.

Today, women wear all sorts of clothing, and they smoke and drink if they want to (gasp!). They also have satisfying careers in addition to having families, or instead of. Don’t even get me started on swearing.

But…of course barriers remain. I could talk about the “glass ceiling” at work, and how male supervisors who tell their employees what to do are obeyed as a matter of course, whereas women who do this are viewed as “bossy” (even by other women, by the way). Or how girls endure ridiculous dress codes at school thereby reinforcing the idea that a boy’s education is more important than their own. But that’s a rant for another time! I want to discuss something else.

I just saw this on Facebook, and it has me shaking my head. It’s an ad for a weight loss drink. Maybe it works. Probably doesn’t. I don’t really care. My eye only caught the headline.

weight loss drink ad

My husband said, “Do something about this or I can’t stay.”

The “this” being the woman’s excess weight.

And just what is this ad implying? That if your husband – who probably has his own beer belly which he thinks nothing of – doesn’t want you to be overweight, then by God and by Golly, you’d better lose weight!

Does this sort of “threat” advertising really work? Well, it must…otherwise “they” wouldn’t do it. It’s what advertising folks do, after all, it’s their job, it’s what they get paid the big bucks to do – work to create doubt and even fear in people so that they’ll buy the weight loss products, or the makeup, or this, or that…

Honestly, my first reaction when seeing this ad was WTF?

I mean really, do women still put up with this from their husbands or boyfriends in this day and age?  I’d tell mine to go to hell!  Well…maybe that’s why I’m not still married.  Could explain a lot.

Now, my issue isn’t with the pros and cons of weight loss – I’m most definitely not into fat shaming and I believe everyone should have the peace to live their own life without others judging them. Be healthy, be happy, be yourself.  It’s not up to me – or anyone else, least of all an advertising company – to tell you how to live your life.

The thing is, if you are going to try to sell a weight loss product, is this ad the best way to do it? I just want to know what the stats are on this particular marketing technique.

Personally, even if this stuff actually worked like a charm, which I highly doubt, I’d be more apt to tell any woman reading this ad that if that’s what her husband thinks, she should tell him off instead of ordering this godsend of a diet drink!

I was glad to see I wasn’t alone in my reaction, by the way.  Most of the comments under the advertisement were of the same mind as me.  It was nice to have company as I sat there rubbing my temples and muttering under my breath.

So, yeah.  Maybe someone needs do these Ad Guys a favor and let them know we’re not chattel anymore. That would be good.