Gift Giving Gone Wrong

Did you know that gifts can be categorized much more accurately than just good or bad? On the good side you have “best gift ever,” “I can’t believe you remembered,” and “they know me so well” just to name a few. That’s boring, though. What I want to talk about are the various shades of bad gifts.

You have the good bad gift that makes you shake your head and laugh because it’s just so darn tacky but ultimately lovable. There’s the “I really don’t like you but instead of telling you that in words I’m going to let the crappy gift I give you deliver the message” gift. Then there’s the “complete waste of money – I wouldn’t even buy it for a white elephant party” gift.

Enter Twinkle Tush! The most idiotic way to spend money that I’ve seen in a long, long, long, long time. It’s a jewel that you hang from your cat’s tail to cover up its exposed butt. Yes, you read that correctly. It’s a blinged-out butt cover for cats.

No, it’s not supposed to be taken seriously. The company is very clear on their website (albeit at the very, very bottom of the page) that this is a gag gift, but still, I don’t get the “gag” part at all (okay, well maybe I do gag, but you know what I mean). It’s shocking to me that someone, a team even, had enough money to put together a whole web page, find manufacturers, coordinate with vendors, set shipping rates, and filmed promotional videos for such a stupid gag gift.

And that’s not mentioning the people who fall for it. I’d love to be in a financial situation that’s so comfortable that I can waste $6 (plus shipping) on a useless trinket for my cat’s butt. Or worse yet, for someone else’s cat’s butt. I can see it now, everyone sitting around at the party watching the cat flaunt its butt bling.  What kind of party do you even have where you buy a gift for a cat? I know one thing for sure; there must be a lot of alcohol involved to have this kind of thing as entertainment.

You know what’d be even less stupid? Filming myself taking six dollar bills, ripping them up, flushing them down the toilet, and giving that video to someone as a gift. Maybe with a cool song playing in the background or something.

Point is, this butt cover is the bottom (pun! see what I did there?) of the barrel for dumb gifts. I know all gag gifts are inherently goofy, but this one just takes the cake. You’re basically spending $6 for maybe 10 minutes of sketchy entertainment from an item which, if you’re pretty normal, will then end up thrown in a drawer never to be seen again.

But hey, if you insist on throwing away your six bucks, you can always cut out the middleman of bad gift makers and just send the cash right to me. I won’t even charge you shipping.