Looks are Deceiving

Beautiful Shaylee, fairy princess of the field, caught up in a reverie.

Hmmm… what are the odds of my survival should I opt to destroy my human servant while she sleeps tonight? She IS very good about buying my favorite food and sharing the canned tuna. But then again, I could always just get another stupid human to do my bidding. Decisions, Decisions…

 

4th of July and Beyond

Happy 4th of July to my fellow U.S. peeps! Drink up responsibly and don’t kill enjoy yourself with those homemade fireworks we all know you have stashed in your shed. As for me, I’m going to break open a new bottle of Bailey’s in a last-ditch effort at some much-needed tolerance, or at the least, some semblance of patience — which we all know is not my strong suit, with my noisemaker neighbors.

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

 

*And wear the damn mask!

 

The Art of Time Management

So. My colleague in the office next door just walked in to check on me as they heard me talking to myself, describing in detail the colorful Moroccan inspired curtains I want for my living room. I understand their concern, but seriously, how else will I get targeted ads for the exact ones I’m imagining? I could spend hours googling or searching through online shops… this is just so much quicker. Use your time wisely folks!

Waste Not, Want Not

So, I’ve decided that in an attempt to live healthier, I will eat healthier foods. I know, right!?  Aren’t you proud? I went to the store to stock up and after I got home and was putting things away, I realized that I had made a mistake with my groceries. I just hate it when I mean to get grapes, but instead, I accidentally get, well, you know… Oreos.

Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. I mean, they’re here, so I can’t waste them. My mother taught me better than that.

 

Lost in the Great Abyss… of Reality

So my internet stopped working on Wednesday. After a fun-filled day of talking with a variety of Verizon representatives, it was still out as of Thursday evening. Supposedly a repair tech will be out today between the hours of 10:00 a.m. and Midnight to fix “my problem.”  Ha!  As if! Until then, my friends, just talk amongst yourselves.

I added this entry from my phone which is a complete and utter PITA, so I’ll touch base with you great folks once my WiFi has learned its lesson and decided to become more cooperative.

Gone Strolling

It was a lovely day, so I decided to walk around the neighborhood to get some exercise and let the beautiful weather work its magic on my curmudgeonly mood. It didn’t help the mood… after all these years, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is just who I am now, but it was still time well spent.

And yes. That is a cat in a stroller. Sitting on a cat blanket. Don’t judge me.