Divorce Worth

This entry is going to contain numbers that most—if not all—of you won’t be able to wrap your head around. At least I sincerely hope I’m not alone.  Because I know I haven’t even come close to understanding how astronomically high these values are myself, so I certainly don’t blame you if at the end of this you need a few moments to let the facts of this true story sink in.

Sometimes I think that the deals professional athletes get are ludicrously high. Four years for $65 million. Ten years for $101 million. Give me a hundredth of that ($1 million) and I’d flip out from sheer happiness. A cool million would set me up to a life of glamour I’ve only fantasized about. I used to look at these athletes and ponder what they could possible need (or do) with tens of millions of dollars.

And then I ran across Ms. Sue Ann Arnall and she put all those pitifully low numbers to shame.

I guess if you’re rich it still doesn’t stop you from wanting to be more rich, right? Hell, I am very lucky I have what I have in the world. I’m sure there are scores of impoverished people in the world who would look at me, my wardrobe, my house, my car and think that it isn’t possible for me to want anything more from the world. To them, I am “rich,” but if someone were to ask me if I wanted a $100 bill you’re damn sure I would take it. I have no doubt I could find a way to use it.

Ms. Arnall is the same way, except the scale on which she views money is astounding. If how much money we each have puts us on a particular floor of a skyscraper I’d be in sub-basement C and she’d be in Penthouse 12.

Here’s an article for reference and yet another one here for those of you who really want to shake your heads at the trials and tribulations of the ungodly rich.

So this woman received a hard copy, fresh check of $975 million and turned it down because she wants more. This after already receiving $20 million during the divorce proceedings. Think about that last part because it’s treated as such a throwaway figure around the other big numbers. She already received $20 million! That right there is a king’s ransom! Imagine being given $20 million. I’d be set for life. My kids would be set for life. Their kids. And so on and so forth for who knows how many generations given the right personal wealth management team.

Yet in this saga $20 million is only around two percent of the total she turned her nose up at! I mean, c’mon! What the hell does she want to buy that $975 million won’t get? Does she want to purchase Australia? Does she want to build an actual, functioning Jurassic Park? Does she want to build an army of Batmen to invade North Korea? Where are you in life when you look at ONE BILLION DOLLARS and go, “Really? That’s it?”

I get the flip side. It’s not so much about her wanting more money (one can only hope anyway), it’s about getting what she thinks she deserves (which just so happens to be more money). That’s when the dollar signs fall away and we’re left with the realization that this is a matter of pride, of possessing everything that our blood, sweat, and tears created. If I were getting divorced and the settlement was for $0.95 and I knew I was supposed to get $1.16 you better believe I’d put up a fight for that twenty-one cents. Why? Because that’s MY twenty-one cents.

It’s just that in this story we’re dealing with words like “multi-million” and “billion” and it’s just hard to fathom a difference or rationalizing a demand for more. There’s a clear difference between $0.95 and $1.16. One gets you a regular size Snickers, the other gets you the king size (priorities, people). But what can’t $975 million get you? And that’s in addition to the California Ranch worth $17 million and an Oklahoma City home (who knows how much that’s worth) that she was already awarded. Oh, and let’s not forget the aforementioned $20 million! Honestly, how much more can this woman possibly need?