introvert log

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My Introvert Life – Log Entry 56502

Stardate 20220505 – Time: Thursday Night Hell

I’m not much of a people person and those close to me know this. Even those not so close to me know this. So at the last minute when two of my friends that I made plans with for a random Thursday night said they were bringing some other friends that I never met along, that little anxiety-riddled part of my brain quickly looked for a way out of the ordeal. I seriously considered buying a plane ticket to anywhere that was not here and simply starting a new life under an assumed name.

But alas, moments later I found myself in the back of an SUV that I’d never ridden in before on my way to dinner at a place I had never eaten at before. Oh yes, I said to myself. This is hell. I’m in hell.

Everyone was going on and on and having a great time, and there I was, just trying to survive the outing long enough to get back home to the safety of my tea, favorite book, cheesy TV, and my cats, and wondering what the hell was I thinking to ever go out in the first place. I mean, it seemed like a good idea at the time. But then, doesn’t it always? And it’s not. It’s never a good idea.

Oh, here comes the waiter. “Can I get you ladies anything else this evening?”

Me screaming in my head: “Just the check, thanks.”

My mouth: “oh, that lava cake looks good.”

Me in my head: “Damn my weakness for sweets. Ah the hell with it. What’s 10 more minutes in hell anyway, right? At least there’s cake.”

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My Introvert Life – Log Entry 54801

Stardate 20180302 – Time: Past the Point of No Return

Day started entirely too early thanks to the asshats next door neighbors.

Subsequent thoughts in shower: wouldn’t it be nice if some people wore shock collars activated by universal remotes?

Found a random screw on my living room floor. It’s official. My life is falling apart.

Started to go to the new gym one town over. It’s all the rage apparently.

A membership cost $30 a month. Not including yoga or the pool.

Donuts and coffee at the Dunkin Donuts up the street cost $4.50.

Guess who saved $25.50? And that’s only for February. I’m on track to save $255 for the rest of 2018. Go me!

Low rations and procrastination in completing weekly errands collide, resulting in a headache inducing lovely jaunt throughout town.

Had an epiphany halfway to the library right in the middle of Walking on Sunshine.

Marvin the Martian was chosen as the referee in Space Jam because he was both an alien AND a Looney Toon.  It all makes sense now.

Left library with spiffy new copy of Space Jam.

Frustrating that I have to put gas in my car considering how damn small this town is. Where the hell have I been that I need gas again?

Wish the Dollar Store sold gas.

At the grocery store, I ran into a guy wearing camo as I was walking down Aisle 5 looking for Oreos. To be fair, this one wasn’t my fault. I didn’t see him.

Survived small talk at the register. Hope to God I never have to do that again.

Made it home in one piece with most of the items I went out for and a great many I did not.

Asshat’s neighbor’s dog was out, running loose, so I had to sit in the car for 10 minutes waiting for it to decide whether it wanted the lame treats its owner was proffering from her front door or Wendy à la king.

Still wishing that shock collar was a thing…and not for the dog.

Bright spot: Space Jam!

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My Introvert Life – Log Entry 54732

Stardate 20172110 – Time: Another Saturday Night (hmmm…that sounds like a song)

The kids are gone, the critters are fed. I have the night to myself. I can do anything, go anywhere. The world is my oyster.

*fast forward one hour*

Ah, bed feels so nice right now. *sipping on a freshly poured glass of Chocolate Zin*

Now, where’s that remote??  There’s a classic horror movie marathon on!

 

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My Introvert Life – Log Entry 52745

Stardate 20170410 – Time: When Everyone Else Seems To Be Doing Stuff Too

Despite my better judgement, but driven by hunger and lack of rations, I ventured out into the world today.

Triple-checked and, yup, had everything I needed to buy for the week in my shopping cart. All ready to check out. Approaching the cashier, I saw someone I know in line. Someone who talks a lot and seems to know everything. Every. Thing.

Hmmm…

…oh right, almost forgot, there were a few more items I needed to get for that thing I was going to make one day.

Pulled a U-turn and disappeared down an aisle.

Another crisis averted.

 

 

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My Introvert Life – Log Entry 52671

Stardate 20172408 – Time: Too Late to Think About Leaving the House Tomorrow

A dear friend asks if I want to go to a yoga class tomorrow where they heat the room to 100 degrees so you “sweat it out” as you meditate on life.  Supposed to be good for the soul.

My answer? Namaste…from my couch where I’ll be watching Netflix and eating crackers.

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My Introvert Life – Log Entry 52491

Stardate 20170908 – Time: Way Too Early

Accept the fact that it’s morning.

Remember that human interaction is not just likely, but necessary on this day.

Consider all possible alternatives to said human interaction.

Outlook bleak.

Coffee, coffee, coffee.

Suck it up and look in the mirror.

More coffee…quickly.

Attempt looking presentable to outside world.

Remind myself not to kill anyone.

Open door.

Brace for impact.