I’m not sure why people always have their deepest, most sincere and profound thoughts in the bathroom. Men are famous for flushing the toilet, opening the door and announcing, “I just thought of something.” For women, we do our best thinking for the shower.
Sometimes, shower thoughts are genius: We could solve world hunger if cow manure was edible.
Other times, they are life-changing: I am going to invest my tax refund wisely instead of buying another pair of shoes.
And sometimes, they are rambling, incoherent, and pointless.
Ladies and gentlemen, I devote this entry to my rambling, incoherent and pointless Shower Thoughts. Lucky you!
- I know there are dogs who are allergic to fleas, but what if there are sheep who are allergic to wool?
- What if a turtle is claustrophobic?
- Are there cats who are afraid of mice?
- Are there mice who hate cheese?
- I know this has been pondered by better people than me, but what if the Hokey Pokey really is what it’s all about?
- Why do people say they are putting toast in the toaster? And for that matter:
- Why do people refer to their water heater as a hot water heater? If the water is already hot, why heat it in your hot water heater?
- Am I the only one in the world who knows that “penultimate” means second to last, and not top of the line?
- Why do we demand piping hot pizza when we have to wait for it to cool off before we can eat it? Why isn’t lukewarm, edible pizza a thing?
- Why do we say people who don’t eat much “eat like a bird” when birds eat half of their body weight every single day?
- If we’re at a restaurant and someone tells us our meal looks good, why do we say thank-you?
- How can every coffee shop have “the world’s best coffee?” They do mean OUR world – Earth, right? I guess they could mean Venus and not be wrong.
- Why does every person in a crime thriller shoot until they run out of bullets, and then throw the gun at their target? Has that ever worked?
- Why is “moist” such an awful word?
- Why do we “dust” when we clean our homes? Shouldn’t we be un-dusting?
- Are there any pilots who are afraid of heights? And if so, just don’t even tell me.
Okay, so where do you do your best thinking? Any Shower Thoughts you’d like to share? Feel free to spill, folks! I’m always looking for proof that I’m not the only one with a mind like a mouse in a maze!
