women empowerment

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Sticking to Beauty

It’s unbelievable the lengths someone will go to for the sake of vanity.  Case in point?  This lady happily taping her neck to hide her throat wrinkles and wattles.

The inventor of this medical-grade neck wrinkle tape is no stranger to the beauty scene; she gave us the lip plumper (an adult lollipop with no flavors, basically).  She is apparently a grandmother of three at the age of sixty, so there’s that.

No offense to this beautiful lady, but there is no way this tape would work for me.  I superglue my fingers together every time I try to fix a vase, so I can’t imagine trying to tape my neck wattles in the back.

First, you know as well as I do that I would end up taping my hair to my neck.  Doesn’t matter how carefully I pull it back, it will end up taped to my shirt, my face, the mirror, and my dog.  And while this tape may not work on neck skin, I guarantee it will stick to anything and everything else. That’s just a given.

Second, I am well aware of my own luck.  The tape would blow out half-way through a presentation at work, setting my epic folds free in a glorious explosion of skin and fat … I can see the slow-motion capture on YouTube now.  My peers would be utterly transfixed and fascinated by my waving wattles; they couldn’t possibly be expected to take me seriously after that. The tape, under the super pressure I’d need to rein in my wrinkles, would slingshot across the room, taking out a few coffee cups on the way and smacking the new CEO square in the forehead.

Look, I’m all about women doing whatever they need to do to feel better about themselves, but neck tape?  Please, ladies, just say no to neck tape.

I agree that our necks can make us look much older than we are, so I proudly introduce my own invention:  wattle staples.  These can be used in any common stapler, and they aren’t just for neck wrinkles!  Got sagging boobs?  Staple ‘em.  Droopy butt?  Staple it!  And those obnoxious butterfly wings under your arms?  Staple those, too.  I have a staple for everything!  Defy your age, and gravity, by Stapling It! You know, I really should be on Shark Tank with all of my fantastic ideas. I’ve got entrepreneur stapled written all over my face.

OK, so the concept of taping your neck is actually not a new one. There are lots of other brands and uses, too.  Many stars have been taping body parts for years.  I applaud them for not going under the knife, but I am disappointed that they are setting the example for us common folk that aging is unnatural and evil.  It’s not.  I’ve earned every wrinkle, crease, and droop on my gloriously imperfect body. And so have you.

Come on, I mean, we have fake nails, fake boobs, fake butts, fake eyelashes, and even fake hair; now, we have neck tape to complete the package?  Yes, feeling good about yourself is important, but why aren’t we happy with ourselves to begin with?

I blame media for setting unrealistic beauty goals for women. Aging stars are displayed in all of their perfection, looking half their age, as beautiful and timeless as money can buy.  And make no mistake, money does buy youth.  Age-defying stars and models probably spend more money on time-stopping surgeries than most of us will ever invest in mortgages. Even those stars who want to age gracefully are often victims of post-photo shoot airbrushing because the editor of so-and-so magazine decided they didn’t want a naturally aging woman on their cover. God forbid. Hell, even those stars who are already flawless are routinely airbrushed to create a next-level completely unattainable vision of youth and beauty.

For the rest of us, thank God there is medical-grade neck tape!  Ladies (and some guys, too), do what you need to do to feel beautiful, it’s none of my business.  Frankly, though, spending $16 plus shipping and handling on neck tape is a little silly when you can get duct tape at the dollar store for fifty cents.  You’re welcome.

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If Inspiration was a Person

Maya Angelou would have been 90 years old today. The world suffered a great loss at her passing in May 2014. Ms. Angelou was an amazing talent, a truly loving heart, and a strong, passionate, dedicated woman. Her words have never ceased to move me. The world is a better place for her having been in it.

click for more info on this incredible woman

 

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Just a Girl

Could a girl pitcher…well, a 17-year-old…strike out the best baseball hitters of the time – namely Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig?

I say yes, why not?

But a lot of folks prefer to believe that it was just a publicity hoax. Why? Well, because how could a girl strike out two men, let alone Ruth and Gehrig?

Way back in 1931, the president of the Chattanooga Lookouts Double A baseball team invited the New York Yankees to play two exhibitions games with them. A week before the games were held, he signed a female pitcher, a 17-year-old left-hander named Jackie Mitchell who specialized in a sinking curve ball.

In the first exhibition game, on April 2, 1931, the Lookout’s starting pitcher gave up hits to the first two batters. He was pulled and Jackie Mitchell was sent in to face Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig. She struck them both out – Ruth caught looking and Gehrig whiffing on three straight pitches. (She walked the next batter and was pulled afterward. The Yankees would go on to win the game 14-4, by the way.)

And controversy has swirled around this event ever since – did she actually strike out Ruth and Gehrig? Or was it all a hoax cooked up for the newspapers to generate interest in the team?

The event is covered in a July 2013, Smithsonian Magazine article entitled: The Woman Who (Maybe) Struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig, written by Tony Horwitz.

Note that Horvitz mentions this controversy in the title – the girl who “maybe” struck out Ruth and Gehrig. Actually both the title and the author’s adamant opinion (when approached by his young son with the facts) pretty much set the tone for his commentary.

But c’mon. It’s not like Ruth and Gehrig never struck out! Ruth’s lifetime average is .342, meaning he got a hit approximately 3 out of 10 times at bat. Gehrig’s average was .340.

And when you’re facing a new pitcher you’ve never seen before, with a sinking curveball (taught to her by “Dazzy” Vance, by the way – a strikeout master during his prime playing years), why couldn’t they strike out?

Well, because they were facing a girl, of course! Of course it had to be a hoax! A put on. A delayed April Fool’s joke. Or so everyone says now. It couldn’t just be that a girl got the upper hand on two of baseball’s greats, regardless of her amazing talent, mind you.

It would have helped if Mitchell would have been able to continue her career on the Lookouts, but that was not to be. Her contract was voided rather quickly by the baseball commissioner of the time because of the general consensus among players (Ruth a huge voice among them) that baseball was just too strenuous for women. This was the same kind of thinking that meant that girls who played basketball had to have teams of 6 players – 3 who stayed in the back court on defense and three who only played in the front court on offense, so they wouldn’t have to run up and down the court and thereby injure their “women parts” and be unable to bear children! And even up until the 1960s, women weren’t allowed to participate in marathons for the same reason…despite the fact that female athletes who defied such strictures had proven over and over again that there were no adverse medical effects! Which sort of goes without saying. Duh.

Today, boys and girls play together on Little League teams. There are female place kickers – well, a couple anyway – in college football. And with Melissa Mayeux, the seriously talented, French short stop (at 16 years old) having just been added to the MLB international registration list – it’s really just a matter of time before women are actively playing in the Major Leagues.

We’ve come a long way, baby…

Womens History

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Enraged Walking Dead Spotted in England (No, Really!)

Who says women won’t stand up for each other? I wish they did it more often, but hey, at least it’s happening sometimes.

I saw a great Facebook post a few days ago from someone called Scott Sparrow. He was riding the Central Line between Oxford Circus and Chancery Lane in London and saw the following exchange. It’s made all the better when you realize (looove Google) that fanny in England is apparently slang for vagina. Gotta love “old soon to be dead” ladies who just don’t give a flying fig about what they say in public anymore.

 

post from Scott Sparrow

 

This is an awesome story. I absolutely love it. Mr. Sparrow should seriously do a “man on the street” type of weekly editorial. Hell, I would pay good money to get the newspaper that opted to publish this guy’s observations!

And as for the incident itself. I mean, c’mon. What right does that suit have – or anyone, frankly, to call out someone else on their physical appearance – whether it’s being very skinny or very overweight, or the way they dress? And yet most people think nothing of doing it – as if they were perfect.

That old woman resonated with me because hell, I can see myself being that outspoken and colorful when I’m that old (almost dead is how old I’ll be!). Basically there will be no change from how I am now, except I’d be viewed as “feisty” instead of rude!  I am sooo looking forward to that day.

And really, this entire situation is just one more reason why I need to freakin’ move to England…from the old, almost dead lady down to Mr. Scott Sparrow.  My kinda people over there (not counting the guy in the suit!).

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Yes, They’re Real and They’re Spectactular

As my many loyal readers know, there are quite a few things that really annoy me. The list is possibly endless actually. Not the least of which are idiot drivers, as I’ve said many times. Many, many times.  Hey, I’ve never once claimed that I had any sort of patience whatsoever.

But another thing that annoys me is when people who should stick together…don’t. Instead, they pick on each other, for no other reason, I think, than that putting down others makes them feel better about themselves. I’ve always suspected that people like this are in fact hiding inferiority complexes.

In this specific case, I’m talking about women. Women who pick on other women because of their appearance.  As if women don’t have enough of that from other areas in their lives…like the media, the fashion world, their jobs, pretty much everywhere you look.

And I’m not talking teenage girl stuff here like you’d see in middle school or high school which is bad enough. These were full-fledged adults who should know better.  It just really grated on my nerves. In my view, women need to stand together now more than ever. Or really, always.

So, what’s lit this fire of indignation?

Yesterday, there was a sponsored ad on my Facebook newsfeed for a lingerie/bra shoppe.  The ad was a for a summer sports/racer style bra that wouldn’t show under any type of a blouse or shirt. The bra itself is irrelevant. What pissed me off were the comments.

Turns out that the bra was out of stock for some of the larger sizes. What does that mean? Well, that women with large breasts really liked this bra and ordered it, and the shoppe hadn’t made enough for women in those sizes so some sizes were necessarily on backorder.

Not a big deal, right? Women who needed an out of stock bra size could sign up to be notified by email when it was available again so they could then place their order.  Easy peasy.

But there was this one woman who didn’t understand the concept that the item “was out of stock” and was instead annoyed that the shoppe apparently catered only to “smaller” women. She actually posted that the store should “carry sizes big enough for women with REAL breasts and not mosquito bites.” Yeah, I know, funny, right?  Ha ha.

There were other women on the thread who were pissed off (rightfully so) at this vulgar and offensive comment.  I mean, come on.  Women whose breasts are C cup or below (which is to whom the woman was referring) do have REAL breasts.  Actually, women with breasts have real breasts.  Doesn’t really matter what size they are, they’re real.

But this woman must have been having a really bad day, or else was just enjoying herself, and decided to vent her spleen on the internet – anonymously, the way all cowards do these days.

She went on to mock those offended women through a variety of downright vulgar comments that you routinely find in such threads and ultimately said,  well she was really just commenting on the fact that the store catered to smaller breasted women by only having smaller sizes available.

In other words, she just couldn’t grasp the concept that the reason why there were no large size bras available was not because the shoppe hadn’t made any for that demographic…but because that demographic was buying the bra like wildfire! Or, she just wanted to stir the pot.

Because she peppered her comments with such things as “apparently those with smaller breasts never grew a larger sense of humor past high school just like they never grew larger breasts past high school.”  Of course she used much more vulgar terminology throughout most of her rants which I’m not going to repeat here.  You get the idea I’m sure.

I kept reading this woman’s posts as if I were watching a train wreck.  It was gruesome, but I just couldn’t look away.

Women are faced with needless comments such as this that tear them down every day – without having it done to them by other women in such a senseless an idiotic manner.

And why? Did this woman walk away from her computer feeling better about herself?  Did it somehow make her day brighter in some way to insult a group of strangers who were only trying to buy some undergarments? People say “oh, grow a thicker skin,” or “don’t let what people say bother you.” But you know what? You should let it bother you. Oh, not in the way you might think. Don’t take it to heart and let it hurt your self-esteem because, it’s true, what people say is meaningless in that regard. Never let someone else bring you down. However, you should never let offensive comments just skate by without being addressed. Despite the popular opinion that is so common on those types of bullying threads – the people taking offense are NOT the ones in the wrong for being offended by cheap shots and insults.

And as for women who pull this crap on other women, just stop it. We’re all in this together, ladies. Let’s pull together as a team!

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